Smoke and mirrors

When I first met you
I thought "Here the sun sets and rises"
But now I have discovered
It was just someone playing with the blinds

All sparks forgotten
And flames extinguished
Time to move on
To another campfire

Maybe they'll have s'mores....

Rejection

Finding someone you really like, that you think is a good match, and then gradually being left behind by them is like peeking at Christmas presents and seeing something you really want and like and finding out Christmas morning it was meant for someone else! My friends told me I should write sometime, like a magazine column, about my dating exploits. They are amusing tales with unhappy endings, but the highlights were a guy with a foot fetish who wanted me to stomp on his face and another guy who was in an on again, off again relationship with a woman who claimed to have apocalyptic powers given to her by God so she could cause catastrophes and then use her powers to heal the sick or wounded. This was crazy enough by itself, ipso facto. Then he added, "What if she knows something we don't?" In my opinion, that made him just as in need of psychiatric care as her. So that was a two-date wonder. Then there is being stood up, by a much younger man I may add, only to find out he was at a party that one of my friends ended up at. He could have invited me, but I suppose that would have been "awkward." I have been divorced, at times happily, for five years. I have only had one boyfriend in that time that was a serious relationship, but it was a long distance relationship until he retired from the Army. Needless to say, he flipped out on me in Iraq and now has a new girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck. He dumped me via email. I've been dumped more than a bar ashtray before the smoking ban went into effect.

So here are some things I have learned:

When someone says they miss you and they mean it, they follow through on seeing you.

When someone says they want to see you, they should be willing to make the effort to make that happen also. You should never be the constant go-getter. If you put yourself in that position, you will almost always be taken advantage of. If he really thinks you're "worth it", he will make SOME effort.

If a guy says he thinks about you all the time, and then you don't hear from him for 2-3 months, he's probably lying.

If the only time he can come see you is early Saturday morning after spending a night clubbing with his friends, it's not a relationship and he probably struck out on trying to pick up chicks at the club to get laid.

If he can only see you during the week during business hours and you never see his house or he tells you to only call him at certain times or not at all and that he'll call you, he is probably married.

If he is your best friend that you fall for, and after 18 months of being his confidant, caregiver, personal assistant, and gym partner he makes no gestures of taking it to the next level, you probably will always just be friends. Accept it graciously.

If any of his sentences begin with what he saw on Oprah, Dr. Phil, or the View, question his heterosexuality. Same goes for Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City.

These are just some of the things I have learned. They don't necessarily explain why I can't get past a first date. One common thread I have found though that might. Almost every single guy attracted to me is coming out of some kind of relationship or divorce, making me the rebound girl. I have never heard a rebound girl success story....have you?

Shallow Man

I am not a male basher, I swear. But some men are soooooooo shallow!!!! It rarely brings me to the edge of frustration, but as with anything in life there are exceptions.
What frustrates me, as a short woman who is not a super model, is to have the "perfect" ideal figure for a woman be 5'7", 120 lbs, with a 34-24-34 body type. In physical reality, this woman would be very slender, with a flat chest and no ass because her body fat would be so low. I don't think men realize just how this would look in real life. It is disheartening to come to the conclusion that maybe that is why the "rest of us girls" are constantly being measured against a yardstick of impossibility and the result is one disappointment after another. I don't think that a balding, 40 yr man, with excessive body hair, bad breath, and 200 lbs is our ideal, but these same men are the ones with this standard or belief.
On the other hand, in defense of the open-minded and non-judging gentlemen out there, some men prefer to hug soft curves and not a bag of bones, and also take into consideration the woman on the inside! Kudos to them, for they shall have a lot of women to choose from!

Nightscape

You steal into my fitful sleep
Like a Trauco, and I am suspended
In a fugue state, not sure what is
Fantasy and what is reality anymore

Your craft is like a magician,
Your smoke and mirrors are your kisses
And caresses, turning my attention
Away from my life as I know it

Pater Familias

I have reached forty years
And still sleep with a teddy bear,
A nightlight, or open blinds
To let in the moon's glare

The man in the moon, yes he
Watches over me even now
Protecting my inner child
From the phantom man in my room

I do not dare, nor do I care
To feel a chill or a disturbance
In the air, with the hallway light
Silhouetting your beer belly

Your brown-bottle breath
Rasping raggedly into my sanctuary
Of Barbie dolls and stuffed animals,
My pulse thunders in my ears

"Please go away, don't touch me"
I silently pray and cross myself
Mentally, prepared to pretend at sleep
Making my body ironing-board stiff

I hold my breath, and a renegade tear
Slips down my cheek onto my Holly Hobby
Pillowcase, cursing my weakness and
Damning God himself for blessing me with life

The 411

1. What is your first name? Kerry
2. What is your favourite food? My homemade tacos
3. What high school/University did you go to? Lakes High School/CWU
4. What is your favourite colour? Purple
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Matthew Fox
6. What is your favourite drink? Tequila Sunrise
7. What is your dream vacation? Dublin, Ireland
8. What is your favourite dessert? Cheesecake
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Taller
10. What do you love most in life? My children and granchildren
11. What is one word that describes you? Fetching
12. What is your blog name? Green Olives and Blackberry Wine

Asphyxia

Fingers lazily tapping out an SOS
On your shorts-clad thigh
As I am slowly drowning in your peridot eyes
Slipping free of my life preserving sense

Your lips beckoning me to the depths
With their come hither softness
While your eyes sparkle like a lure,
distracting and mesmerizing

Entree Vous

This is my first blogging experience per se

My family has this notion that I can write, so here I sit staring at a blank white box...

The title is taken from my own convoluted mind remembering get-togethers at Leah's house eating hummus and pita, green olives, and drinking blackberry wine I brought back from a winery in Tennessee during a trip to see another friend.
So I guess this could be my roundtable for all my friends and family to have me expose myself upon in the name of creativity!