Rejection

Finding someone you really like, that you think is a good match, and then gradually being left behind by them is like peeking at Christmas presents and seeing something you really want and like and finding out Christmas morning it was meant for someone else! My friends told me I should write sometime, like a magazine column, about my dating exploits. They are amusing tales with unhappy endings, but the highlights were a guy with a foot fetish who wanted me to stomp on his face and another guy who was in an on again, off again relationship with a woman who claimed to have apocalyptic powers given to her by God so she could cause catastrophes and then use her powers to heal the sick or wounded. This was crazy enough by itself, ipso facto. Then he added, "What if she knows something we don't?" In my opinion, that made him just as in need of psychiatric care as her. So that was a two-date wonder. Then there is being stood up, by a much younger man I may add, only to find out he was at a party that one of my friends ended up at. He could have invited me, but I suppose that would have been "awkward." I have been divorced, at times happily, for five years. I have only had one boyfriend in that time that was a serious relationship, but it was a long distance relationship until he retired from the Army. Needless to say, he flipped out on me in Iraq and now has a new girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck. He dumped me via email. I've been dumped more than a bar ashtray before the smoking ban went into effect.

So here are some things I have learned:

When someone says they miss you and they mean it, they follow through on seeing you.

When someone says they want to see you, they should be willing to make the effort to make that happen also. You should never be the constant go-getter. If you put yourself in that position, you will almost always be taken advantage of. If he really thinks you're "worth it", he will make SOME effort.

If a guy says he thinks about you all the time, and then you don't hear from him for 2-3 months, he's probably lying.

If the only time he can come see you is early Saturday morning after spending a night clubbing with his friends, it's not a relationship and he probably struck out on trying to pick up chicks at the club to get laid.

If he can only see you during the week during business hours and you never see his house or he tells you to only call him at certain times or not at all and that he'll call you, he is probably married.

If he is your best friend that you fall for, and after 18 months of being his confidant, caregiver, personal assistant, and gym partner he makes no gestures of taking it to the next level, you probably will always just be friends. Accept it graciously.

If any of his sentences begin with what he saw on Oprah, Dr. Phil, or the View, question his heterosexuality. Same goes for Desperate Housewives and Sex and the City.

These are just some of the things I have learned. They don't necessarily explain why I can't get past a first date. One common thread I have found though that might. Almost every single guy attracted to me is coming out of some kind of relationship or divorce, making me the rebound girl. I have never heard a rebound girl success story....have you?